Holiday schedule is out and ive got training thrice a week. There goes my holidays.

Today was really awesome. Caught Shrek 3 with babygirls in the evening, the movie was great but some of the scenes were cut off due to the blackout that happened in the cinema and everyone started jeering, well typical singaporeans right. June is approaching in a few days time, I dont know why but June is always very hectic for me. Daddy's birthday is coming and I have to fork out 100 bucks for his present! And I cant believe N levels oral is starting in two months time!!!!

I cant even choose my own laptop. My dad and mum always make choices for me, sometimes the choices that they make for me doesnt even click with me. So they've decided to get for me and brother an IBM laptop, its sort of free since dad's gonna get them from his office. Its like a mini laptop so its easy to carry around, but there's no webcam in it. I think thats the worst part of the whole laptop, cant webcam with my girls anymore in future. xoxo

Today's conversation with school leaders was really motivational and inspirational. After the talk today I am determined to work extremely hard for my prelims and N's. I am more determined to do well for humanities and physics and I will keep reminding myself that I must target 12 for N levels. Ive got 16 essays as holiday homework, not to forget there's other homework too from accounts, maths, chinese and physics. Total killer.

No guys have ever done this to me. First you tell me that you will wait for me even though I am not ready for a relationship and that you will give me time to consider. Now you made me so into you and than you suddenly just leave me like that. Even though we were not together but for the last few months you made me like you so much and I dont even know why. You did not have a heart-melting smile neither did you have that type-of-guy-I-like-look. But somehow you made me go head over heels because of your messages. You were there for me whenever I was feeling down and the messages that you sent were always so touching. Suddenly everything is gone just like that. I will not wait for your calls or texts anymore, I will not bother you again, I will not cry because you did not care about me, I will not intefere in your business anymore, I will stay away from you, I will move on and stop being sucha bitch. Sorry for everything.

Sometimes, I hope there wasnt a 27th every month.

I could have passed all my subjects. But thanks to me studying the wrong things + Mrs Ho's teaching, I did not meet my targets afterall. Hell yeah, physics pulled my combined science marks to the lowest I had ever gotten. Mrs Ho's teaching is atrocious, she doesnt go through her notes with us and simply ask us to copy from the textbook when we ask her a question she doesnt even bother to explain and will tell us that everything is from the notes. She does not even bother to go through the exam papers too. Fuck no, this is not the kinda teacher that help students achieve better results, instead we are all deproving for god's sake.

I wished my parents was like any other parents in this world. No its not like as though I wanted to fail my papers right, I wanted to pass every single subjects and be as clever as those top in class students. But some things are beyond my control, I studied really hard but god chose to fail me. I really did tried very hard to achieve good results mum, dad. I doubt you will ever believe me and you guys will probably start comparing me to my cousins and friends. After that I dont know what else you guys might do, maybe ask me to leave the house again or beat the hell out of me. Nothing is beyond your reach i know. I am sorry that im born stupid, I am sorry that i didnt do well for my examinations. I am tired, I really am.

Why do every single one of them have such adorable kids?