omfg I am so angry + sad + whatever emotion that suits me rn.
Yesterday was the worst fucking day of orientation I tell ya. Cz told me she was coming and she ditched me last minute, hahaha ya ditched. Sometimes I actually blame myself though for trusting people too easily despite Ly telling me countless times not to trust cz's words. Okay so anyway I still went and stayed for the whole orientation and made friends with a friendly girl called Amanda :) then we had sla fair and I was so god damn lonely after Ly and Ivan went back to their own group. It was just so fucking sad cos everyone had their own groups of friends and there I was alone, never knew poly life was that tough to adapt to. So we had mass dance, cheers and all and I liked it I actually enjoyed it like I mean even if I was alone. So here's the thing I had to partner this anti-social/shy/whatever thing that fits her/ girl during mass dance and wtf I almost died please.
SHE DIDN'T WANT TO MOVE AT ALL OMG SOMEONE KILL ME NOW.
I am god damn serious. we had to dance in pairs and all she ever did was just stand and then squad that's all. wow the fucking hell, every pair had so much fun except me. I swear I even tapped her shoulder and said "let's just dance together, slowly never mind" and she just smiled. Okay seriously, even if you don't wanna dance at least move your hands a little right. All in all it was a terrible day and I swear yesterday I couldn't wait for the whole damn thing to just end. I was so angry, upset and whatnot yesterday I just felt like going home to cry okay. call me childish but it was a rly bad day for me. I cry very very easily.
seeing n_ sad yesterday actually made me sad too. sigh love hurts. hurts even more when you know he's attached. okay enough.
