I constantly find myself racing against time, always. I am finding it so hard to cope with pressure from school, friends and what not. In between all these nonsense, I also find out all the fake people in my class who do nothing but put people down just so that they can be better than the rest. cunts. Bitch please, 3 more  weeks and I will be done with sem 1. Mixed reactions but honestly feel that it would be a good change. Will miss 80% of the classmates with their never ending jokes.

It's so hard always hearing friends or people ask "how are you and _____" thanks but no thanks, I'd rather you mind your own business then keep asking how are we. Annoys me to the maximum like when you ask "so... you still like him?" can don't question? Yes I do, of course I still like him. But do you think I will tell you how exactly do I feel? NO please, who are you to even think that you will know so much about me. I miss that day where I first saw you, I miss everything about you. xo

Forget how much it hurts and try again

" I remember when you leaned in quick to kiss me, and I swear that not a single force on Earth could stop the trembling of my hands"

You know what sucks the most? It's realizing that every single person that you likes will never ever be yours because it just is the case. 2 guys, 2 same situation. I am such a sucker for these things. Ever since whatever happened on friday, I've decided that it was the last straw, I am going to give up. It's not whether I like it or not, it's a must for me. I mean what's the point of chasing him, telling my friends how much I like him and what not? HE IS NEVER GOING TO BE MINE. Therefore I'm giving up, I don't want to get betrayed again. It's about time I realize who are the real and fake friends. The people I meet in poly really made me realize how fake and plastic some of them can really be. I only a few trustable friends here in poly, but nothing new. xx

hard to forget

Tries to help, fails. #badluckforlife

Recap

Let me sum up what happened in the past week and this week with some pictures from my phone and touch. Bare with my a while, I know some of the pictures' quality sucks.

• Last Thursday (5th July 2012) - my virgin trip to mbs skybar and ku de ta, it was such an eye-opener for me and I really got to see Singapore from a bird's eye view. It was good, the ambience was great except for some distracting families but otherwise, good scenery, good food, good company :)

amazing view, if I could I would shift in here at MBS and never leave.

the soft-shell crab, kebab and thai crab fried rice was god damn good, insanely heavenly. A must try when you go to ku de ta. Fyi do not ever order a glass of plain water at ku de ta because it is freaking $10 per glass o m g. And that crab fried rice you see above is nice but it's $15 for one bowl of that fried rice and me + 3 others had to pathetically share one bowl of the rice because we did not want to spend any more $$. Yup, as I've said the view from the skybar was spectacular, definitely a place I would still want to go back in the near future.

• Saturday (7th July 2012) - millenia walk + marina square with my mom and brother the entire afternoon while we waited for dad to finish his marathon. twelve cupcakes' cupcake were so tempting, tcc for one hour after being extra lazy + tired from walking. Forgot to mention this, there were so many people wearing red because of the ndp preview :( I wanna go back to the floating platform to watch again, watching it livein 2010 was too good. Let me win the tickets for next year's ones pls!

tcc's spicy chicken wings (which wasn't spicy at all, not one bit) x wedges with cheese dip x tea x lime-passion fruit tea.

• Rest of the best - this week there have been several big looking strays down my block, 4 of them. One of them especially is my favorite, he's such a gentle giant he played with me before I left school a few days back then he somehow knew when I was coming back so he just stood quietly by the grass patch with his 3 other friends to wait for me. Mad cute + touched, he is hachiko! Okay then me being such a loser for stray dogs, went home to grab duck wet food for hachiko and his friends but sadly his friends were human shy, they ran off immediately upon seeing me. Hachiko left behind and I saw him eating tree branches, omg heart pain. Cannot stand seeing such thing. So I opened the wet food for him, watched him eat and went off. I wanted to stay but there was this man actually staring at me feed hachiko, later if he's from SPCA or AVA die right. That's why I left. Anyway the following day as usual, I was searching for hachiko and his friends around the area and guess what, he was missing!!!! :( only 2 of his friends were left, sigh that very moment I pray he was just hiding somewhere. Then after school while walking back I realized all 4 of them were missing, like I haven't seem them ever since. I got a feeling they got caught by AVA.....
• Rest of the best - I suddenly feel damn loser-ish because all my friends have dates and I am like forever fucking single. It kills me everytime I read Jess and Audrey's tumblr, they're so happy with their lives. Jess especially. Joe is amazing, he's so good to Jess. I don't lie, I miss aaron. There I said it. But I obviously know I'm in no position to say these because he is not mine anymore and never will be (just got that feeling we will nvr be tgt anymore). Look on the bright side, I still have this crush from school haha joke he has a girlfriend already, no way am I getting him cuz they make such a good pair. Can only look and admire him from afar, forever.