Y'know how lately everything hasn't been going on as planned. I find it so selfish how you can do all these without thinking about the consequences, now you have got yourself into this state we are expected to clear the mess you left behind? Don't tell me this is a family responsibility because I honestly feel none of us should be responsible except you. You never paid for anything in my life, for as long as I could remember. You never paid for my expenses, school, entertainment, travel, everything. So I don't understand how can you owe all these money when you never ever lifted a finger in helping out with the finances at home. So weird. Now I'm supposed to help you clear 1/5 of your debts with the savings that were saved intended for my future education, how and why. I hate how parents in Singapore are so so freaking simple minded it fucking annoys me. You want to take MY money you talk to me and discuss with me first, don't simply come up to me and tell me you're closing my savings account for no apparent reason that's stupid. Ugh fucking annoyed now.

This week, I have rejected food countless times. This is so unlike me especially for someone who's a major food and meat lover, I have eaten so little. Monday I only had KFC porridge the entire day. Tuesday, I had instant noodles + sushi + half a chicken patty + some fries. Wednesday I had boiled corns for brunch and then noodle soup for dinner and today's probably the worst only had 2 slices of toast bread and half a bottle of milk tea the entire day. I'm really really hungry right now but I don't want to eat. I'm so fucking scared my eating disorder is back. I constantly tell people that their body is perfect and recently when I look at the mirror all I see is fats, I try to visualize myself looking skinny and thinking how perfect it would all be. I dunno what is going on, I tell myself this may all be because I'm lazy to get my ass outta house to buy food.

Think I'm feeling slightly out of place. Now I feel like eating up a storm.