hi!!!! I think we, students are quite blessed to be given this 4 days of holiday bc hari raya was yesterday and today's national day. I'll be extending my holidays even further though bc TCAs are on Monday morning @ 8am (8pm in LA) and obviously I am gonna skip school for demetria because I love her more than I love school. Okay that's if I successfully manage to convince my mom to let me skip school for it. Lately, I have been so glued to my computer/television because there are so many good shows + movies out there to watch!!!! Today, I need to share with y'all some of the must watch shows and movies, I guarantee you that you would not regret upon watching them rly.

TV SHOWS

America's Next Top Model

okay anybody who knows me would know that I love love love watching antm!!! I have literally watched from cycle 6-19 and I am loving every cycle because every cycle shows a new and different model and every cycle's winner is so special in their own way. I even have a few fav models from every cycle. 

Cycle 12: Allison Havard (this girl is mad amazing!!!)

Cycle 13's Nicole Fox, Laura Kirkpatrick and Erin Wagner!

Cycle 14: Raina Hein and Jessica Serfaty

Cycle 16: Alexandria Everett, Brittani Kline, Hannah Jones

Cycle 18: Sophie Sumner, Laura LaFrate, Annaliese Dayes

Cycle 19: Laura James, Nastasia Scott

Yup all these are my favourite models and you can click on their names above to find out more or see how they look like. Honestly each time I watch antm when my fav girl gets eliminated, I cry and yes that's how good this show is. Cycle 20 is gonna be out soon, must watch!!!!

Cupcake Wars

I don't understand how can anyone not love watching cupcake wars if you have a sweet tooth like me. Cupcake wars is a food network reality-based competition show where there are 4 contestants who will bake cupcakes related to a theme, contestants will get eliminated each round until there is one left - winner. I really like cupcakes wars bc the cupcakes that the contestants make are really something that you may or may not have heard of bc the ingredients that they use sometimes are rly shocking. Hahaha I am a sadist so I really like to watch when contestants screw up their cupcake presentation lol.

Keeping Up With The Kardashians 

This show really brings drama to a whole new level. I love the Jenner sisters (partly the reason why I watch this show) and the love seeing what the Kardashian sisters' life is like. I love watching families fight, quarrel and whatnot and this is like the perfect kind of drama for me hehe. I'm currently @ Season 8 Episode 4. Haven't had the time to catch up on E! entertainment. This show truly is an entertainment for me and once you watch one episode, there is absolutely no way you would wanna miss another episode. Yes that's how good this show actually is.

Married to Jonas

I grew up watching the Jonas Brothers on Camp Rock and absolutely loved their music. So when Married to Jonas a reality series which is about Kevin Jonas + his wife Danielle came out, I obviously had to watch and couldn't miss a single episode. I won't say it is THAT interesting but unless you are a Jonas Brothers or should I say Kevin Jonas fan you may not enjoy it as much as I do. I still like watching but I don't chase the show as much as I used to now that there's cupcake wars and KUWTK to chase instead hehe.

MOVIES

New Year's Eve

Hachiko

Marley and Me

The Last Song

Camp Rock (1+2)

High School Musical (1+2+3)

Grown Ups

Ice Princess

Monte Carlo

Monster's University

Katy Perry: Part of me

Toy Story 3

Tangled

RV

Zoo Keeper

Hotel for Dogs

The Vow

xx

Reflections

"It's important that we share our experience with other people. Your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else. When you tell your story, you free yourself and give other people permission to acknowledge their own story" - Iyanla Vanzant

Open mouth, open heart, a place for the bad to exit and for the good to enter. Open, not closed. Truth, not ignorance. As we ate dinner last night, I took some time to reflect my life and learnt a lesson. My family, my friends and my furry animals they are everything to me. My oldest dog Ricky is close to 9/10 years old. He's my first dog and will always have a special place in my heart. Everyday I think of him, he stays in the shelter and I understand life as a shelter dog is tough bc my baby constantly gets bullied my other big dog, always. He's my favourite boy always because when no one was there for me, he was always. I am literally bawling my eyes out as I type this post. I fear for the day I lose him. I really do. My family and friends, they mean the world to me. I know I will always have my family slowly but surely supporting me in whatever I do. I know my family are the ones I can turn to no matter what and when. I love them dearly. My friends; they are literally like little crystals to me. So precious yet so fragile, I fear for the day I break or lose them because no one can guarantee an everlasting friendship right. Tbh, I haven't even had a real best friend throughout my 19 years. There is no one I really trust wholeheartedly so I don't confide into anyone and that's fine with me. I rather keep things to myself because I don't want people to know my story. 

In a world like this, everything we do is judged so harshly and frequently critiqued; I personally feel like it is easier to lay the criticisms heavily on yourself and a lot harder to give yourself an encouragement or an encouraging pat on the back. I know the world is a fucked up place and too often, we are encumbered by all the shit life throws at us and we become bitter, sad, scared and angry. I always tell myself though that this is life and life will go on no matter how sad or angry or scared you are, time waits for no one. The least I can do now, for myself is to lay the foundations so that when life hurls boulders at me, when my infrastructure and spirit is broken down, I can stand solid and always rebuild from the foundations that I get to lay. This week, this year and the next. I will remember. 

Sometimes I picture myself in the future with kids and still being the horrible person I am today. I am worried for my kids. What if each time I lose my temper and swear in the house and they do the same? What if each time I feel worthless, they will pick up on that and eventually project that attitude onto themselves? Will I ever feel good about myself for the rest of my life? My temper is bad, I get angry and upset over every little detail and I hate it. I curse and swear at everyone who pisses me off, swear especially. I swear at people who look down on me, call me fat, call me names, hate me, everything. But I tell myself what good does it do to swear at people? Does it makes me less of anything that they just insulted me? No. Does it makes me happy? No. So what for. I just want to say once you start picking at your flaw and treating yourself badly, that's when others think it's okay to treat you the same. Self-love and self-respect is so important to woman. People have a habit of walking all over you if you don't have a habit of valuing yourself more than anything. 

It's a difficult cycle to break, I feel like I hated myself ever since puberty started. Most of us is like that and why is that so? After 7 years of self-loathing and anger I've carried, how do I decide it's time to let go and start loving myself? The first thing to do is to stop giving a fuck how others see and think about you because you live in your skin, nobody knows how it's life. People will enter and leave your life as and when they like. Not you though, you're there until the end. If you can't live comfortably in your own body then you're gonna have a miserable life. Start being nice to yourself, do things that makes you happy. Be a little selfish. Make time for yourself and enjoy your own company. Don't put yourself in silence or dark and don't deny yourself because you don't feel like you deserve to be happy because everyone deserves happiness.